Remember when I used to blog?

Do you remember that one time I had a blog? And then I would write in that blog and force it upon you because that's how social media works? I, too, have a vague recollection of that time. I had big plans for the blog, you know. It was going to be the medium to which I was most dedicated after college. Things change, man. Most days I get home from work, zone out for awhile, stuff food in my mouth that sometimes resembles dinner, and then I call it a night. This routine is of course peppered with various hobbies and interactions, but the point I'm really trying to get at is I'm a tired, old person now. I'm thinking about how I have to walk literally next door to Walgreen's to grab a few items, and it makes me grumble. Getting old is the hardest, you guys. Resist it if you can.

The fact of the matter is I have limited news to share, which doesn't bode well for the level of interest you will end up having for this post. I've been working and that's been great. I was approved for a credit card, so now I have that bill to pay, too. I recently started level 2 of the writing program at Second City, where they are teaching me to be funny. In fact, the most productive thing I did today was sign into my Second City account and switch the card information for an upcoming automatic payment. I realize that doesn't sound like a huge achievement but, frankly, the SC student portal isn't super user-friendly. Also, I'm bad at computers, which doesn't help. Whatever, I switched the card information, and that's all that matters.

In addition to working and learning how to be funny, I've also been planning my five-year high school reunion. That's right; we do a five year. I've talked to numerous people who are shocked that my class is already jumping into reunion territory. These people typically respond with something semi-mocking or condescending, making me feel silly about the fact that we're only five years out. Hey, man, the people want what they want. Actually, I didn't ask anybody if they wanted the reunion, I just assumed it's a thing we're supposed to do. The fact of the matter is that it's happening, even though I haven't sent out invitations yet. Actually, I'm supposed to be designing invitations right now as we speak. It was the next item on my list after "Email Yassi" and "Fix your Second City payment information." I did both of those things, saw the invitation memo, and immediately opened up a project I haven't looked at in two and a half months. (That's this blog.) Look, guys, you'll get your invitation, okay? In fact, I'll open up a Word Doc right now to remind myself that the invitation has to be designed today. See? Here's what I've got so far:

 That's my favorite line in Wet Hot American Summer, if you were wondering. Will it be on the invite? Maybe. 

 

 

Now why is Katie planning a high school reunion? I'll tell you: I was our class president and the administration tells you at like, 17 years old, that you'll have to do this every five years for the rest of your life. And then I took the job anyway. (I really mean that. Nobody else ran for the position.) Of course other people are helping, but I can't really get over the comedy of my planning a party in Akron while I live in Chicago. I'll probably just end up RSVPing "Can't come--live in Chicago now" and then I'll laugh really hard.  Like, joke's on you class of 2008! I'm not even coming to my own party! But I'm not doing that BECAUSE!

I'm using my weekend in Akron as the jumping off (or end, haven't decided yet) point of a week long excursion to see all my buddies and biddies. Look, I know I don't post pic-stitches of my best friends when it's their birthdays and I know I don't turn my Facebook statuses into long-winded thank yous to all the people who have ever had anything to do with my life, but that doesn't mean I don't care. So I will be making the great Northeast trek to New York and Boston in hopes of rekindling some college magic, which is something I miss dearly. For the past three weeks, I have had college friends visit me in Chicago and each visit was so uniquely wonderful and fulfilling. I think what I enjoyed most was the amount of comfortable laughter and the degree to which I didn't have to impress anybody. Isn't that the best? When you don't have to impress anybody? I hate the feeling that I do, and I hate even more when my feeling is correct, so spending some time with people who have seen you at your drunkest/saddest/most outrageous is pretty nice. In summation, I hope I see you in Boston or New York in July of 2013.

What else? Oh, right. This is going to be featured in a Canadian Language Arts text book for 10th graders. True story. The 16 year-olds of Canada will finally come to know what it means to be snarky and American. So, you're welcome? I'm also working on a play that BFF Robert and I have been devising. Ok, confession time: I was actually doing research for the script after I handled my Second City account and before I started this post, so that means invitations were bumped twice. I swear I'll do them. Look! I'm already making progress!

In regards to the script, we don't know what we're doing with it. I've written down like, seven bullet points on a legal pad thus far, so this certainly is not time sensitive.

And finally, I recently bought tickets for a screening of Caddyshack at the Music Box Theatre for Boyfriend and me. There is rumor that Bill Murray will be there. I broke out in hives I was so excited to hear this. BF is also in the process of talking me in to seeing Huey Lewis and the News sing all of Sports for its 30th anniversary. I'll think about it.

Also, I saw a dead rat on the sidewalk the other day. Though I had nothing to do with it, I couldn't help but wonder if my incessant ill-wishes on the greater rat community of Chicago had somehow affected this guy's karma. I'll just assume they did. So remember: regardless of how much you "do" about your rat problem, it's probably just best to wish really hard that they stop bothering you. Kind of like all your problems in life! Believe in your dreams!

And Happy Mother's Day!!!! Again, just because I didn't convert all avenues of social media to a sonnet about my mother's love does not mean I don't think she's great. I sent her a very lovely card last week that had an old-timey cowboy pistol on the front. So. I think that covers it.