Potential Themes for this Blog

It has come to my attention that the best and most successful blogs are the ones that operate around one central theme and then turn that central theme into a relevant, poignant, and hilarious part of other people's lives. I relate to you because I also like sports! I relate to you because I also take pictures of cupcakes! I relate to you because we are both skinny bitches and like to make people feel terrible about their bodies! My blog is not like that. My blog does not focus on any one thing, unless you count me as a thing. I can see where that might cause some stress for you, the reader. Reader, how can I best connect to you? I ask myself daily. How can I make you feel like you are here, with me, on the streets of Chicago? My favorite piece of advice when writing is if I am bored writing it, then you are bored reading it. I don't want any of us to be bored. So I've come up with this list of potential new directions in which the blog can go. Remember the rules of good blogs! Relevant, poignant, and hilarious. There's got to be something out there.

1. Fashion
In which I re-purpose Blackhawks jerseys and use them to make cute, boho-chic dresses. Each entry will include a quirky picture of me, probably sporting bangs and boots, hanging off of one famous street sign in the city of Chicago. The entry will chronicle the disheartened fan from whom I took the jersey. This blog will show that I value recycled goods (Go Green!!!), the world of couture, and that I stand firmly with (or without) what ever it is (or isn't) the NHL lock out means.

2. Romance
In which I romantic date my way through Chicago. Each entry will be about some really fabulous date that the Boy and I went on this weekend and all of those dates will be brilliantly, breathlessly Chicago! You're SO jealous now, aren't you? Don't you wish you were standing on top of the Hancock Building, drink in hand, arm around your man friend's middle? Don't you wish you were on the beaches of Lake Michigan with the picnic basket you acquired from Dreamboat Dave? Don't you wish you were catching a film in Millennium Park, your man friend's Brooks Brothers suit jacket draped over the both of you? You would love reading this blog because you could text your other friends and say Uggghhh that dumb bitch I went to high school with wrote about another one of her dates. Oh, and Will pays for everything.

One of the romantic caricatures drawn at Navy Pier. Look at how the artist captured the natural curls of my hair.

3. Finding Myself/My Story
In which I recognize that my Romance Blog is heteronormative, presumptuous, and a little alienating. So that's why THIS blog is about my WOMAN friend!!! I don't have one, but I think I could find one. This would probably be the most relevant, poignant, and hilarious blog option. I also believe that Bravo will want to give me a reality show because of it. Each entry will talk about my feelings, the patriarchy, and the various ways in which Chicago exhibits the values of the patriarchy and my feelings because of it. Seriously, though, this city is nothing but phallic symbols. Which leads me to...

4. Chicago Hot Dog Blog 
In which I eat a Chicago style hot dog every day and tell you how it affects my health. It will be kind of like Supersize Me but a little less gross. And, because I have a stomach made of iron and the metabolism of a 14 year old boy, you will be shocked, angered, and entertained with what I get away with. Each entry will include an anecdote about someone I meet while buying my hot dog. This will distract you from the fact that I'm eating a Chicago Style Hot Dog every single day. My hope is that it functions like that MTV show that Casey really liked, The Buried Life. I will promise these strangers that I can help them change their lives, all while shoving a hot dog in my mouth. (Chicago Style Hot Dog----> the patriarchy.) And then I'll be like Ugh, I don't feel so good and leave them to their own devices.

This is how I looked up the name of that show.

5. Bean Spotting Blog
In which I watch people take pictures of themselves in The Bean. Each entry will be video commentary of me sitting in Millennium Park, shooing away pigeons, and providing my unsolicited observations. I am most drawn to this blog idea and feel that I don't need to talk you into it.

6. Block Party Blog
In which I learn Spanish. Each entry will be about how I go across the street to my beloved 24 hour Mexican restaurant and I smile and nod the whole time before giving into the live band that ALWAYS plays a song from Selena. I have been told by my Chicago field guide that my neighborhood is more than likely going to be sick for La Dia De Los Muertos. And, as a common American, I whole heartedly look forward to this event. I think the Tequila intake will help with my speaking skills.

Really though, RIP.

7. Sports
In which I put on my favorite pink satin Jay Cutler jersey and go to the bars!!! Each entry will document how much I love the Bears, the Cubs, the Hawks, and the Bulls. I will be the ultimate Chicago super fan and also the cutest. Because guys LOVE sports girls!!! Especially ones who know ALL the guys' names but have no idea what they do. DERRICK ROSE, BITCHES!!!! PATRICK KAYNE, BITCHES!!! SOMEBODY WHO PLAYS FOR THE CUBS, BITCHES!!! As a girl who likes sports, I need you to know how much I like sports. Because I'm wearing this pink jersey, that means you can still want to have sex with me without feeling weird about it. All of my entries will be about all the times that my girls and me have been  court side/50 yard line/first base line and some really hot celebrity athlete approached me personally and told me that I must be a model. I'm not saying that that's why I have all of this sports (SPORTS DID I MENTION SPORTS) information but I guess I just made an impression on him.
(Note: Did you know that I was legitimately obsessed with Kirk Hinrich? Because he and LeBron got drafted together and I was SO over LeBron at that point but I really liked Kansas that year because of Kirk. And he did that 70s retro commercial with Carmelo Anthony? Yeah, whatever, sports.)

Well, I feel pretty comfortable with this as a starter. I think I have some good ideas flowing. Relevant, poignant, hilarious. That's what a blog is and that is what I aspire towards. Thank you, Chicago, for your inspiration.

AND FOR THIS.